I Don’t Want To Have a Beer With Barack Obama!

Let’s be clear. I am voting for Barack Obama for president and, quite frankly, I think anyone who isn’t voting for him is a fucking retard (placing hand to ear to listen for the anger of the rich and/or toothless).

But here is the thing: I don’t want to have a beer with Barack.

I’m not sure when idea of having a beer with our president became an important running platform. I don’t remember ever hearing about people saying this about Jimmy Carter, Reagan or FDR (I was either too young or not alive)… I really feel like this idea only came out with the George Walker Bush Campaign. Having a beer with Bush became an important marketing tool to get him elected because it was, in fact, the only thing redeeming about that asshole.

But we are getting rid of the asshole - so why is the asshole’s marketing carrying over?

Here’s my idea: let’s stop saying things like “I like him [as president] because I could have a beer with him.” In fact, if I hear you say it then I’m going to punch you in your fat face.

Because this is the deal: Our president (the person who LEADS the rest of us idiots) is supposed to be better, smarter, more elite than us. And you know what, if I am having a beer with the fucker then that can only lead me to believe that something in the country or world is getting fucked up.

So Barack Obama - love you buddy but I don’t want to have a beer with you. How about this: You do the leading and you keep being a better human being than me and I will do the blacking out for both of us. Sound good?

… oh and for those people who are going to say that the “beer with president” question is a metaphor for “is the person relatable” - yeah, I get it and you’re still a douche for basing your choice of president on the metaphor.