Life, Libations and the Pursuit of Boobs

There comes a rare occasion when I wake up in the morning and can’t find something to be excited about. It’s not that I have a positive outlook on life - it’s just that I think there is a lot of neat things to try and learn.

But today, after 2 hours of being awake, I found myself at a coffee shop not working but instead staring at my laptop screen and drooling.

Bet you wish your girlfriend was hot like me.

This revolution was never televised.

I remember about 4 years ago, I had just moved back to San Francisco (after living in NYC for a few years) and I was on the phone with my mother telling her that every single weekend there were war protests that marched down the center of downtown San Francisco. I was really encourage by this voice of protest especially since I had not heard (on the news) of any other events around the country actively voicing their opinions in this way.

My mother was encouraged as well but she said something that stuck with me - she told me that in DC there had also been massive protests. She also said that she had heard nothing about the protests in San Francisco. The reason these two statements stuck with me is because I couldn’t understand why my news was filled with inane banter around local to-do’s that were essentially meaningless and not giving valuable time to this voice of dissent. And clearly, the news on her side of the country was doing the same.

The problem with this is that media (which is dubbed as “Liberal Media”) served to actually destroy a possible positive voice of dissent to the established pro-war voice. Now, I am not trying to solve whether the war in Iraq is right or wrong (I personally think it is wrong) but what I am trying to figure out is why debate on this issue (and I am talking about pundit debate but rather regional pro or anti war debate) wasn’t at the core of our 5 o’clock news. If regional voices are not heard nationally then John Doe in Somewhere, NM is going to end up feeling like he is the only one in the world that actually believes he has a voice. That his voice is (in some way) unique. While being a unique person is a great thing - it is counter productive when you are attempting to change the world or the views of a nation.

These thoughts came up again for me when I read my friends blog on Pete Seeger (a folk singer) who was essentially blacklisted years ago  for sing song about peace. I always struggled with the idea of perceived freedom versus actual freedom in the US. I am not attempting to answer the question here but rather ask the question - “Do we believe in the idea of freedom more than it is actualized in modern day US?” And further, “Is it more dangerous to think we have freedom (but not actualize that freedom) than to feel as though we have no freedom at all?”

My thought is that it IS much more dangerous to BELIEVE we have something than to not have it all. That is is much more dangerous to BELIEVE we can change the world but there is no mechanism for change.

I’ve always been skeptical of self help. The books, the videos, the seminars… I never really got it.

What I think self help attempts to give you is basically Boboli For The Soul. They’ll provide the meaning and purpose in your life, you just add the toppings.

I know that is a misrepresentation of self help (I can say that confidently because I work for a self help company) but I’m really put off by self help… it just seems cultish.

Plus, I think I just really like the phrase Boboli For The Soul.

Have you ever been at the gym, doing some bench pressing and then *snap* - the top of your head feels like it’s on fire?

No? Too bad because it’s an amazing feeling. And by amazing, I mean completely debilitating - I feel like I had turned retarded and was never going to be able to think ever again in my life.

So what do you do when a sharp pain runs through the top of your head when lifting?

• Leave the gym immediately
• Go home and complain to your wife like a little child
• Take asprin
•  Proceed to worry if you have caused some sort of acute aneurysm that is slowly killing you - but don’t do anything to actually solve the problem
• Go to an acupuncturist because you don’t want to go to the emergency room

To my credit, I have successfully checked off all boxes on the above list and then some. It’s been 4 days and I still have pain in my head.

But here is the deal: I worry about death… a lot. I mean, I wake up thinking about death, death takes up my thoughts through most of the day and then I have a hard time going to bed at night because I am scared I will die in my sleep. Healthy.

You would think that I would be dashing to the emergency room to figure out why I have pain and get it fixed. Sure. Logical. But the deal is that I hate emergency rooms because (to me) they represent death. So instead I went to an acupuncturist.

The experience was neat - never been before. Quiet, peaceful, light flirting with the woman who was putting needles in me, light fantasizing that the woman might actually take advantage of this kinky scenario - I mean, I clearly missed the point as my mind was not focused on getting the pain out of my head but rather hoping the woman would make out with me.

That said I did have high hopes for the acupuncture as a cure or remedy for the sharp pains in my head (that I am worrying more and more about) BUT, unfortunately, no dice. 60 minutes and $150 later, I am still sitting at the coffee shop wondering if I am at my last hours and hoping that the pain with eventually just fade away.