We just got word that Hans Pritcher will be launching a new dating & sex advice blog on October 31st.

… and even better, he will be launching his newest eBook entitled:

“The All-American Pickup: How to Stiff Arm Your Way to T.D.’s”

The book will be launched on Superbowl Sunday 2009.

Here is the promo banner for the new book - feel free to pass it along and/or post it on your site/blog.

His PR Director has released limited information on the new book but what we do know is that the book with focus on how to pick up woman and score big. The book uses football lingo as a metaphor for how to attract women and understand what women want. Here is a quick look inside.

Here is what you’ll learn inside:

• *How to Execute a Bump & Run
• *How to Run a 2-Minute Offense
• *Running a Tailback Blast
• *Pulling off an End-Around
• *Double Teaming a Hot Receiver
• *Being Aware of Too Many Men on the Field
• *Knowing Your Hole Number During a Handoff
• *Blitzing the Neutral Zone
• *Intentional Grounding & Getting Outside the Tackle Box
• *…And many, many more AWESOME tips for picking up chicks

In honor our most ironically misunderstood day (Hump Day), I give you my porn for the week. Must Love Hogs - it’s an endearing drama about two people drawn together over their intense love for hogs (a.k.a. petermans).

Enjoy!

Have you seen the new Incredible Hulk? Not the Ang Lee slaughtering of The Hulk but the Edward Norton rape of The Hulk.

Here’s what I think about it - I call it The Despicable Hulk. A.K.A. The Rape of the Hulk.

Bacon Pancakes

Last night, before heading to bed, my wife told me she wanted pancakes for breakfast the following morning. No problem; we haven’t had pancakes for awhile, so it would be good to have some pancakes.

However, since we didn’t get to bed until 2am - after watching SNL and some crappy TV - I didn’t get up until about 11am and then I headed off to the gym upon waking. So my thoughts changed from pancakes (breakfast) to brunch. And then my thoughts headed bacon pancakes…

Here is what I ended up making:

Bacon pancakes with caramelized onions and walnut butter.

… and here is how I made them.

First, I baked some bacon.

I prefer baking my bacon at 375 for about 15 minutes but if you are a stove top person then be my guest. After the bacon is cooked, dry it off (i.e. paper towel the grease off the bacon) and when it cools, cut the bacon up into small squares (think bacon bits).

While I was baking my bacon, I started caramelizing my onions.

To caramelize onions, all you need to do is melt down 1 stick of butter over medium heat and chop up about 1 pound of yellow onion. Toss the onion in the butter, stir occasionally and in about an hour - you have caramelized onions. The caramelized onions will be tossed on top of the finished bacon pancakes.

So, the bacon is baking and onions are caramelizing - this gives us time to make the pancake batter and the walnut butter. Let’s do the walnut butter first since well have to toss it in the freezer for 30 minutes (to solidify).

Walnut Butter is the easiest piece. All you have to do is melt down a stick of butter, at 2 tablespoons of brown sugar and 1/2 cup of crushed walnuts. When it’s all done - shove it in the freezer for 30 minutes OR… if you thought ahead (like a day before), then just put it in the refrigerator.

The walnut butter will be used to melt on top of each bacon pancake you eat.

Lastly is making the batter for the bacon pancakes. It’s pretty simple:

• 2 1/2 cups of flour
• 2 cups of milk
• 2 teaspoons of baking powder
• 1 egg
• 1 teaspoon of pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon of salt
• chive or scallions to taste
• chopped up baked bacon

When all the pieces are done. What you are left with is bacon pancakes with melted walnut butter and caramelized onions dripped on top.

Best brunch I have had in a long time - I highly recommend making bacon pancakes next time you want pancakes and it’s past 10am.

The KFC Challenge. Have you seen these stupid comericials? Well, if you haven’t then let me sum it up for you.

Basically the deal is this: Kentucky Fried Chicken offers up the KFC Challenge where they ask a fake commercial family to try to go to the grocery store and buy ingredients for a meal (comparable to a KFC family meal) for less than $10. It’s a cute commercial that features a blonde-haired girlscout nazi asking for chicken at the supermarket butcher and a wannabe dork teenager looking for the Colonel’s “11 spices.” Cute but it started to wear on me after the second view.

Why? Well mostly because with the KFC Challenge, Kentucky Fried Chicken assumes we are all short-term thinking douche bags and don’t understand that yes… perhaps they beat the family supermarket on day 1 but over time - KFC loses.

So, to prove the point - I took the KFC Challenge. Here’s what I found - the data below assumes that I had none of the ingredients in my house before I started. It’s my 30 days of data for the KFC Challenge. The challenge is: can I (after a month of eating the same dinner every single night) save money by purchasing groceries vs. going to KFC. Oh and by the way, the Kentucky Fried Chicken meal consists of 7 pieces of chicken, 1 side (I chose baked beans) and 4 biscuits.

First off, I had to mock the Kentucky Fried Chicken 11 spices… after looking online for recipes, these are the ingredients in the recipe:

1. Garlic Salt (1 Tablespoon per serving)
2. Onion Powder (1 Tablespoon per serving)
3. Sugar (1 Tablespoon per serving)
4. Oregano (1 Tablespoon per serving)
5. Black Pepper (1 Tablespoon per serving)
6. Thyme (1 Tablespoon per serving)
7. Basil (1 Tablespoon per serving)
8. Parsley (1 Tablespoon per serving)
9. Celery Salt (1 Tablespoon per serving)
10. Salt (1 Tablespoon per serving)
11. Paprika (1 Tablespoon per serving)

The rest of my ingredients (for chicken, biscuits and beans) were:

1. 3 cups of flour
2. 1.5 cups of milk
3. 2 teaspoons of butter
4. 4 teaspoons of baking powder
5. 1/4 teaspoon of baking soda
6. 1 egg

After going out and purchasing all the ingredients in order to make a KFC Family meal, I spent $134.87. Holy shit. KFC wins. I am saving $125 dollars my going to KFC. Fucking unbelievable. But folks that’s just day 1. What happens when I don’t throw away my ingredients that I just bought (as most reasonable families)? What happens when I continue the KFC Family Challenge over 30 days?

Well, after I multiply the ingredients by the number I would need to sustain eating over 30 days. For instance, the chicken I would need to buy 3 of them. Then after getting my total cost, I had to divide the cost by 30 to get the daily cost. So, here is how the daily break down went (daily cost is amortized for ingredients that last throughout the month):

1. KFC Family Meal $9.99
2. Baked Beans $1.10
3. Chicken $0.50
4. Garlic Salt $0.07
5. Onion Powder $0.15
6. Sugar $0.03
7. Oregano $0.11
8. Black Pepper $0.10
9. Thyme $0.10
10. Basil $0.11
11. Parsely $0.08
12. Celery Salt $0.13
13. Salt $0.03
14. Paprika $0.13
15. Flour $0.53
16. Milk $0.32
17. Baking Powder $0.06
18. Baking Soda $0.05
19. Butter $0.47
20. Vegetable Oil $0.46

After this breakdown, let’s take a look at where we are after 30 days:

As you can see; at the end of the 30 days I spent $299.70 and only $134.87 for the store bought ingredients. Which means that over the course of 30 days, I have saved $164.83 by not eating at KFC. Seems like if we are having an economic crisis, this is the solution. Stop eating at KFC and you’ll be able to put gas in your car. Stop eating at Kentucky Fried Chicken and you’ll be able to get new clothes for your kids. Stop eating KFC and your kids will have a Christmas.

As far as the Kentucky Fried Chicken KFC Challenge - KFC, you fail. And KFC… next time you make a fucking commercial, make it interesting so I don’t have to waste my spare time dispelling your challenges. God I hate that fucking commercial.

Ok. Totally sick of the Sarah Palin thing but I have to make one final point… then I am done because I literally HATE the fact that TV, radio and newspaper has been spending so much time on Sarah Palin.

I have been listening to NPR, CNN, MSNBC and FOX - trying to get all types of input in order to be somewhat “Fair and Balanced.”

But here’s the bottom line: She’s retarded. Like, not because she is a female, not because of her lack of experience, not because she took 6 years to graduate from a community college. She’s just retarded because she is dumb. VERY dumb…

If I was a women, I would be embarassed and groaning. If I was a republican I would shoot myself in the face. And as a human in the United States, I am supremely concerned that this is the type of “leader” our country now produces.

And the fact is… every woman, politician or layperson that tries to defend her ends up sounding like a retard.

So fucking grow up. Stop lying to yourself and stop trying to lie to me - she’s retarded and you know it. She gets elected and my faith in this country dies with that election.

And to everyone who knows that… stop being polite. Defenders of Sarah Palin aren’t apologetic and nice… so fucking ATTACK this stupid bitch and stop thinking you will be perecieved as dumb (or mean) for attacking her. The fate of this country and the world depend on YOU to stop being a PUSSY!